Best Chandler Bing Quotes From F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

It is tough not to talk about the iconic Chandler Bing quotes every time we talk about the famous sitcom, F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

It has been around seventeen years since the last episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. was aired. However, the show’s fan base does not seem to decrease even after almost two decades.

The show continues to be funny, heartwarming, and entertaining even after all these years, which has resulted in such a massive and loyal fan base.

While all the characters have been portrayed beautifully and are equally responsible for the show’s success, there is one character who stands out for his utterly hilarious sarcasm.

Several of the Chandler Bing quotes are the reason why he is often referred to as the funny one in his group of six friends. These Chandler Bing quotes never fail to make people laugh, even while watching the show for the hundredth time.

We have accumulated some of the most iconic and funniest Chandler Bing quotes from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (in no particular order) that will make every fan want to binge-watch the show 101st time.

1) “I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

Chandler Bing Quotes (Image Credit: NBC)

What can be a better way to start an article about Chandler than one of the Chandler Bing quotes that describes his personality to the fullest.

Chandler says this iconic line moments after he was almost about to propose to Monica in his own awkward way in Season 6 Episode 24, titled “The One with the Proposal: Part 1.”

However, Chandler’s proposal does not go as planned when Richard shows up at the same restaurant with his date, Lisa.

The already nervous Chandler introduces himself to Lisa as “I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.” Chandler and Monica’s proposal dinner soon turns into an even more awkward double date, ruining all of Chandler’s plans.

All we can say is that it happened for the best because this awkward dinner led to an even better proposal later.

2) “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

Chandler has always been an icon for everyone who loves sarcasm. His sarcasm is what sets him apart and makes him such an unforgettable character.

After Joey confesses his love to Rachel, things get awkward between them. When Rachel asks Chandler for his advice about how to get things back to normal again, he says this Chandler Bing quote.

It takes place in Season 8, Episode 7, titled “The One with the Tea Leaves,” and has turned out to be one of the wittiest and most famous Chandler Bing quotes from the show.

3) “Hey, come on, I say more dumb things before 9 A.M. than most people say all day.”

It is one of the Chandler Bing quotes that many of us can relate to, a bit more than we should.

Chandler claims that he began to use humor as a defense mechanism, but no matter the reason, his wit and sense of humor have resulted in one of the funniest parts of television history.

4) “I’m a headhunter. I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi, Rasputin!”

It is one of the Chandler Bing quotes that prove why his wit surpasses anyone else we can think of.

In Season 8, Episode 20, titled “The One with the Baby Shower,” Ross and Chandler volunteer to help Joey practice hosting a game show called Bamboozled.

When Joey asks them to introduce themselves, Chandler introduces himself by saying this Chandler Bing quote.

Chandler does it to mock Ross, and this scene shows their character dynamic, with Chandler being the witty one and Ross being the one everyone makes fun of.

5) “What do you know? You’re a door. You just like knock-knock jokes.”

Being referred to as the funny one is Chandler’s thing, and being stripped of that title frustrates him to no end.

In Episode 6 of Season 9 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., titled “The One with the Male Nanny,” when Monica calls one of her colleagues the funniest guy she has ever met, Chandler is naturally distraught.

So, he starts trying to prove how funny he is and says, “What do you know? You’re a door. You just like knock-knock jokes.” to the door before going into his apartment.

He goes inside and continues to crack several jokes to make Monica change her statement.

6) “And yet, I never run into Beyonce.”

Janice makes several appearances throughout the show, each one more surprising than the other. Her surprise visits make F.R.I.E.N.D.S. even more hilarious as she always brings something weird, funny, and different to the table.

Chandler and Monica decide to buy a house outside the city after they decide to adopt a baby. After they finalize one of the houses, they go to the house next door to compare in Season 10 Episode 15, titled “The One Where Estelle Dies.”

They meet Janice and find out that she is planning to buy the house next door. When Janica sees them, she gets excited and says, “What a small world.” Chandler responds to this by saying, “And yet, I never run into Beyonce.”

7) “I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love.”

Janice has been a memorable character in the show. Chandler and Janice have had quite an interesting journey on F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Chandler has always been scared of commitment. When his friends finally convince him to consider going down that road, he decides to master commitment in his own weird way in Season 3, Episode 4, titled “The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel.”

After breaking up with Janice numerous times, Chandler decides to settle down with her. He gets too serious and even starts talking about going on a trip with Janice’s parents.

All of this scares Janice and Chandler says, “I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love.” when she starts freaking out.

8) “Sorry, man. There’s never a good time to stop catching on fire.”

Chandler and Joey share an iconic friendship on the show.

Even though both of them care for each other deeply, they share some kind of a father-son dynamic where Chandler takes care of Joey and even keeps a separate room for Joey when he plans to shift to a new house at the end of the show.

Joey loses his insurance Season 6 Episode 4, titled “The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance,” for being unable to find work for quite some time after being fired from his job at the daily soap, Days of our Lives.

When Joey finds out about this, he tells Chandler that he could get hit by a bus or catch on fire when he had insurance, and it would not matter. Chandler replies to this by saying, “Sorry, man.. There’s never a good time to stop catching on fire.”.

9) “Oh, I know this must be so hard. Oh no, two women love me. They’re both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet is too small for my 50s, and my diamond shoes are too tight.”

The central plot of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. revolves around the love story of Ross and Rachel. Despite having a crush on Rachel since he was in high school, Ross takes nine years to start dating the girl of her dreams, which also results in a lot of chaos.

Rachel finds out that Ross is in love with her after he goes to China, only to see that he comes back with a new girlfriend named Julie. On the other hand, when Ross starts getting over Rachel, he finds out Rachel has feelings for him.

When they finally kiss, Ross has a tough time figuring out what to do in “The One with the List,” the eighth episode of Season 2 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. He has to make this big decision of choosing between Julie and Rachel.

When Ross discusses this issue with Chandler and Joey, Chandler mocks him by saying this one of the Chandler Bing quotes.

10) “The fifth dentist caved, and now they’re all recommending Trident?”

Rachel runs out from her wedding and has to survive in the big city of New York all by herself. Even though she finds it very difficult initially, she gradually tries to find a job that she is good at after being a bad waitress for some time.

In the eighteenth episode of Season 1 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., “The One with All the Poker,” Rachel goes to Ross’s apartment, where the group has met to play poker. She is very excited after her job interview for the role of Assistant Buyer and thinks that her interview went well.

As she enters the apartment, she says, “Guess what, guess what.” with excitement, to tell the rest of the group about the interview.

Chandler says this one of Chandler Bing quotes to mock both Rachel and the toothpaste commercials that state that four out of five dentists recommend the product.”.

11) “You have to stop the Q-tip when there is resistance.”

On the show, Joey has always been perceived as a person who is not so bright.

In Season 2, Episode 1, titled “The One with Ross’s New Girlfriend,” Chandler asks the group if anybody knows a good tailor. Joey suggests Frankie, who has been his family’s tailor for years.

When Joey tries to figure out how long his family has been going to Frankie, Chandler replies, “You have to stop the Q-tip when there is resistance.”

12) “And I just want a million dollars.”

It is one of the Chandler Bing quotes that establish the premise of the show. This scene is where it all began.

In Season 1, Episode 1, titled “The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate,” the pilot episode, Ross is depressed and talks about his divorce from Carol and says, “I don’t want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again.”

As soon as Ross says this, Rachel enters the cafe, Central Perk, dressed in a wedding gown after running from her wedding. Chandler responds by saying, “And I just want a million dollars.”

It is the first of all the Chandler Bing quotes that we get throughout the show. This scene is also the first of the Chandler Bing quotes that lay the foundation of his great wit and sense of humor.

13) “It’s seven years ago. My time machine works.”

Ross and Rachel’s on-again, off-again relationship has a lot of chaotic ups and downs throughout the show.

Ross and Rachel have a big fight and break up after he gets jealous of her new colleague, Mark, who helps her get her job at Bloomingdale’s in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Season 3.

The incident repeats itself in Season 10, Episode 14, titled “The One with Princess Consuella,” when Rachel gets fired from Ralph Lauren, and while leaving, she and Ross come across Mark.

Mark offers Rachel another job, and they go to discuss it over dinner. Ross says that she thinks he is just being nice to her, while he knows that he wants to sleep with her.

Monica and Chandler think it is ridiculous to repeat the same episode of jealousy, and Chandler says, “It’s seven years ago. My time machine works.” to mock him.

14) “I’m sorry, we don’t have your sheep.”

Rachel, Mindy, and Barry have a fascinating history, with Barry cheating on both Rachel and Mindy before getting married to each of them.

However, despite the turn of events, Mindy decides to marry Barry with Rachel as the maid of honor.

Rachel is highly nervous about facing everybody after having run out of her wedding with Barry a few years earlier.

The already nervous Rachel finds out that she has to wear a very funny-looking bridesmaid dress, making her even more anxious.

In “The One with Barry and Mindy’s Wedding,” Episode 24 of Season 2 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Rachel gets ready to go to Barry and Mindy’s wedding. Seeing her pink dress, Chandler comments, “I’m sorry, we don’t have your sheep.”.

15) “Gum would be perfection.”

“The One with the Blackout,” the seventh episode of Season 1 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., is the first episode where we get to see Chandler away from the rest of the group. This episode proves to all the viewers why he is the funniest character on the show.

Chandler’s awkward encounter with the model, Jill Goodacre, makes excellent content for television comedy and results in some of the most memorable Chandler Bing quotes.

Chandler gets stuck in an A.T.M. vestibule with Jill Goodacre. When she offers him gum, he gets nervous and refuses. He immediately regrets it and realizes that he should take anything that someone like Jill Goodacre offers him.

Then, in order to make things right, he says, “On second thought, Gum would be perfection.”

He regrets saying this once again and thinks, “Could have said, gum would be nice. Could have said, I’ll have a stick. But no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.”

It is one of the first Chandler Bing quotes that shows how awkward his character is. All this awkwardness makes him an even more adorable character on the show.

16) “Oh, we’re just sitting here doing nothing. It’s our rehearsal for tomorrow.”

After having to struggle more than anyone else can imagine, while growing up, Phoebe finally gets her happy ending when she gets married to Mike in Season 10, Episode 12, titled “The One with Phoebe’s Wedding.”

However, Chandler and Ross’s excitement goes down when they find out that Mike has chosen his brother and his friend’s from school to be the groomsmen at his wedding.

Chandler and Ross are very disappointed when they find out that they are left out of the wedding. So, when Mike asks Ross and Chandler, “Hey, guys. How’s it going?” Chandler says, “Oh, we’re just sitting here doing nothing. It’s our rehearsal for tomorrow.”

Furthermore, we are glad that everyone from the group got the opportunity to be a part of the wedding at the end.

17) “What did I marry into?”

This quote is one of the Chandler Bing quotes that gets repeated multiple times throughout the series.

Chandler and Monica have one of the best relationships on television. They have a tremendous amount of understanding for each other, and they continue to love one another even if they don’t like certain things about each other.

All of the characters on F.R.I.E.N.D.S. have some quirks of their own. After getting married to Monica, every time Chandler learns about one of her quirks, he says, “What did I marry into?” in a peculiar voice, making the scene a lot more hilarious.

He says this one of the most memorable Chandler Bing quotes when he finds out that Monica’s first kiss was with Ross. He also repeats this when she gets all excited about Joey appearing as a celebrity partner on the game show Pyramid and goes on to talk about more of her favorite game shows with Ross.

This quote is arguably one of the Chandler Bing quotes that have resulted in some of the funniest scenes on the show.

18) “Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack.”

It is one of the Chandler Bing quotes that shows the dynamic between Chandler and Monica’s relationship.

Monica has always wanted to have kids. In Season 1, Episode 23, titled “The One with the Birth,” they go to the hospital when Carol gives birth to Ross’s son, Ben. She sees so many kids at the hospital and keeps talking about how much she wants to have one herself.

So, Chandler offers that they could get together and have one if neither of them is married by the time they turn 40. The already upset Monica gets offended by this offer.

She asks why he thinks that she would not be married before she turns 40 and also asks, “Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?”.

Chandler gets scared and says, “Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack.” while pretending to be tied to a parachute that turns out to be a knapsack and even falls from his chair.

19) “Donald Duck never wears pants, but when he comes out of the shower, he always wraps a towel around his waist. I mean, what’s that all about?!”

It is one of the Chandler Bing quotes that describe Chandler and Phoebe’s character dynamic.

Season 3 Episode 2, titled “The One Where No One’s Ready,” while Ross tries his best to get everyone ready for a charity event at his museum on time, Chandler conveniently says this one of Chandler Bing quotes to Phoebe, amidst all the chaos.

This scene shows how being surrounded by chaos does not affect Chandler and Phoebe, and they can always be their adorably weird self in any environment.

20) “That’s alright, I’ll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway.”

In Season 1, Episode 18, titled “The One with All the Poker,” the girls lose several times while playing poker with the boys. Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica owe Chandler, Ross, and Joey money at the end of each game.

While paying the $7.50 that she owes, Phoebe warns that she has cursed the money and says, “Oh, I cursed it. So bad things will happen to he who spends it.”.

However, Chandler does not seem to care about the curse and happily takes the money while saying, “That’s alright, I’ll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway.”.

You can also let us know about some of your favorite Chandler Bing quotes.